Leisurely Laying Bricks

Just when I thought there couldn't possibly be any more 'bike trail' material I have more to share.  I just finished my last brick workout before my tri and did the bike portion on my usual section of the trail.  There were so many walkers, runners, leisure bikers, groups of talkers, dog walkers, duck feeders, etc that I was seriously like an obstacle course rather than a bike ride.  It was such a slow ride that whenever I happened upon an open stretch I really tried to sprint as fast as I could.

Wouldn't you know that during one of these sprints I ran into the segway cops.  Apparently, bikers are so hazardous to the non-bikers using the BIKE trail that we now have segway cops to police the bikers from using the space that was initially created for them.  Yes, that makes sense.  So when I'm trying to have my most intense workout of my entire tri training I'm followed not by one but by two of Plano's finest to make sure that I don't break the 15 mph speed limit or put a runner, walker, duck feeder, rat feeder, etc in harms way.  We know that taking out someone one stupid enough to feed a rat would be a bad thing...right?

I also find it interesting that the signs posted everywhere that say NO MOTORIZED VEHICLES apparently don't apply to the Plano police.  So they can break their own rule yet I can't ride a bike on a BIKE trail without being followed.  Seems like a good use of the ungodly tax dollars we pay on a yearly basis.  

While we are at it why don't we have a nutria update?  At the 2nd most populated spot to feed ducks I saw probably 30-40 nutria hanging out between the waters edge and the trail.  How could there possibly be so many in one spot....well after a little research I found out that nutria are polygamists.  The males take 2-3 mates which share one burrow.  The females have 4-6 in each litter and have on average 6 litters.  So even if you are not good at math you can see how last week there were about 10 and this week there are about 30-40.  At this rate, if I lived with a yard facing the creek I would move because now that these river rats have a taste for people food and people they will soon be brave enough to go into yards and houses to find it.  When this happens I'm sure it will some how be the bikers fault for getting in the duck feeders way and forcing people to feed rats.  I can already see the aftermath:  "Bikers band from Plano bike trails due to over population of River Rats."  Doesn't make sense of course, but neither does anything else on the bike trail...

More Bike Trail Idiots...

Just when I thought the the bike trail couldn't get anymore interesting, today I saw it all.  I was on my usual section of the bike trail when I saw a family of "beavers" hanging out right by the trail, about 15 feet from the water edge.  I had a run in with what I thought was a beaver not too long ago (see Unwelcome Friend) but today I realized it was not a beaver but a nutria (aka river rat).  Apparently they are taking over the duck pond and there are signs every where saying NOT to feed them and not to approach them because they bite.

So what did I see today other than about 10 nutria hanging out by the trail?  That would be an Indian guy with his kids and wife (in sari) feeding them bread.  Sure, why not feed a rat a little bread?  Are the ducks a little boring?  Maybe the nutria would like to snack on your wife's sari.  Or better yet, why don't you take them home and fry them up in a pan and make stir fried nutria like they do in Louisiana???  Now that that they are comfortable enough to approach the bike trial maybe they'll take to sunnying on the trail so there will be another obstacle to avoid.  Wouldn't that be fabulous?  Let's take a look at what a nutria looks like, shall we?

Would you rather be cussed out or chased by a river rat that wants bread?  Sounds like an adventure race not a bike ride...geez!

Bleepin Bikers!

I was just called a "bleeped, bleeped, bleepin, biker".  I know, I know... I've been called a lot worse and I'm sure I'll be called much worse in the future but I still didn't appreciate it.  And I know I've been known to cuss like a sailor from time to time and I've dolled out my fair share of "f-bombs" but I grew up in a good Southern Christian house and I certainly know it's not appropriate to drop the "f-bomb" before noon unless you have incurred bodily harm or have damaged an expensive material item beyond repair (like totaling a car).  So why is someone cussing me out at the ungodly hour of 6am???

It's the same ole story...bikers hate runner/walkers and runner/walkers hate bikers.  It's called a bike trail for a reason, so don't seem shocked when you see a bike.  I was approaching two runners (a girl and guy) that were running side by side with a walker coming the other direction.  I said "on your left" 3 times and the girl made a move to fall behind the guy leaving barely enough space for me to pass between the runners and walker.  Right when I got ready to pass, the girl moved back to her original position making it WAY to close to pass.  I literally almost hit her.  The walker didn't stop or make a move to the grass so I almost hit her too!

The girl told me, "to watch where I was F-ING going.  If you had hit me I would pick you and your f'ing bike up and throw you to the ground.  Why didn't you say something???"  To which I replied, "I said something 3 times.  Maybe you should listen instead of doing more talking than running."  Had I had my wits about me I would have said something to the affect that I would like to see her try.  I highly doubt she could catch me and if she could I would take it as a complement if she could pick up me and my bike.  I certainly wouldn't view it as though she was overly confident in her athletic abilities.

And wouldn't you know that I saw them after I hit the end of the trail and turned back.  This is when I rode into a cloud of cuss words.  "There's that bleeped, bleeped, bleepin biker".  Yes, yes it is...and for those of us that actually passed high school physics a bike with 115 lb person moving 18+ mph will cause severe bodily injury if you get in my way so you can take your cuss words and get out of my way before I run your blabby mouth over.  Why don't you do more running and less talking and you might actually hear a biker approaching?

Unwelcome Friend

I went biking this afternoon for the first time in months, and came across a very unwelcome sight...

I was by the duck pond approaching the bottom of the hill and saw this huge animal. From far away I thought it was a bulldog as it was hugely fat and looked to be about 80 or 90 lbs. As I got closer I noticed it had prickly fur and as I was whizzing by I startled it causing it's fur to stand up. It looked at me and bared it's gnarly teeth. I literally said out loud, "holy sh*t what was that?"

I don't think I have ever gone up that hill faster in my entire life. I was terrified that this thing was going to come after me and bite a hole in my bike tire or worse bite the cast on my sprained ankle....either leaving me defenseless to be eaten alive.

So when I got home I did a little research and confirmed this "thing" was an enormous BEAVER! I was happy to find out that they are docile and have an aversion for biting...but I certainly don't see why people think they are cute...SICK OUT!

Representative photo of my friend:

Screw you, C.O.P

Dear C.O.P.

I think it is wonderful that you have 400+ miles of bike trails for the use of your residents, but I am a little perplexed why you still call them bike trails. I left my house at 7:30 am this morning, for a nice little ride on your trails and imagine my surprise when the bike trails now have 15 mph speed limit signs and Yield to Pedestrians signs. Excuse me, but if this is a bike trail why would I yield to a pedestrian? Why would I only go 15 mph?

I am not a good biker, only good enough to bike less than 20 miles in a triathlon and 15 mph is just not going to cut it. Good bikers ride at 20+ mph; average bikers at 18 mph. So, Dear C.O.P., I ask you where are bikers welcome? The trails are apparently now for women walking 4 across while on cell phones and/or ipods, for men walking dogs without leashes, and for children under the age of 4 who are seemingly parent-less. Bikers are not welcome on the roads because they slow down traffic, cause accidents, etc. So if the bike trails aren't for bikers, please explain to me what roads/trails are?

I'm all for the safety of our residents, so may I suggest you clear the non-bike trails of the thousands of acorns that were there this morning. As I rode through said acorns, I was pelted with the intensity that could have caused a concussion had I not been wearing a helmet. I may, or may not, have been riding in excess of the posted 15 mph when this happened, but I am so worried about the runners, skaters, bladers, and walkers that could fall and injure themselves causing an even larger obstruction for the 15 mph bikers.

Can you please advise where bikers who bike in excess of 15 mph should go? I would hate for the C.O.P. to hinder my dream of becoming the oldest Olympic Triathlete by not offering a suitable place for me to train. I wouldn't want to be forced to sue the C.O.P. for discriminating against bikers. Wait a minute, is this retaliation against Lance Armstrong for cheating on his wife with Sheryl Crow? Or for dumping Sheryl while she had breast cancer to go make a baby with another woman? I'm on to you, Dear C.O.P...

The Bad Parenting Trail or Introductory Bike Trail?

Today was the last day to get a long bike ride in before my next tri Labor day weekend so I hit the trail near our house about 9:00. The weather has just changed to the low 90s so the trail was packed. Packed with children who's parents apparently forgot they were parents, packed with bikers who apparently have never been on a bike trail before, and packed with running groups, walking groups, and any other type of group that likes to occupy the trail in a 4 person lateral fashion. These people obviously didn't take high school physics or else they would understand that if a bike moving ~18 mph hits a run away toddler, woman on cell phone, or an unleashed dog it will not be pretty for anyone involved. Needless to say it wasn't exactly a good workout but it was definitely good training in abrupt stopping, sharp turning, and lots loud yelling.

Let's see what was the most annoying occurrence of the ride?

1. Was it the boy who comes flying out of the dog park on a motorized scooter right in front of me while I'm yelling that I'm on his right, who proceeds to go right and I have to bail into the grass? All the while his mother stood with a dog and yelled at him that was why she didn't want him to have a scooter because he can't seem to pay attention.

2. The 90 year old woman who was riding on the right who when I politely informed I was going to pass her on the left said, "no, that's where I'm going" and then she turned left from the right side of the trail, right in front of me causing me to abruptly stop to avoid hitting her only to be yelled at by her nearly dead husband who was then coming up behind me and was mad that I stopped.

3. The biker who was riding the opposite direction from me and I signal that I'm going left. He then turns right at the same time and then yells, "WATCH OUT" to which I replied, "I signaled I was going left". He then informed me he thought that meant for him to go the direction I was pointing. Uh, ok?

I think it's time I write a nasty letter to the City of Plano to ask them to post signs that say "Beware of Bikers". It is a bike trail but seeing how everyone seems utterly shocked when they see a biker or god forbid a bike moving fast I think it's time we put up a little signage to state the obvious. Or better yet, why don't they rename the trail the "Bad Parenting Trail" or the "Introductory Bike Trail" at least then it would be informative. I know "Chisom Trail" and "Bluebonnet Trail" sounds so nice and Texan but it's just really not doing the trick.

September 3rd – It’s all downhill

Today started extremely early. At 2:45am we were picked up by our Crusin Phil's tour group to go to the top of Haleakula to watch the sunrise and then to bike down the volcano.  We were taken to their headquarters to meet our tour guides and get our gear which consisted of pleather bomber jackets, rain suits, gloves, and motorcycle helmets.  One of the guides, Jonathan, called everyone 'sister girl' or 'brother man', as in, "You look like a large, sister girl." It was quite amusing at 3am.  It was about 40 degrees at the top so we had to bundle up for the hour wait for the sun to rise. The clouds were really heavy so it was hard to get some good pics but some of the best ones are below.

At about 6:00am we got back in the van and drove 9 mi down the volcano to start our bike ride. They use to let you start at the very top when I did this a few years ago but someone got into an accident and the park ranger has since banned the biking tours. Now the tours start outside of the Haleakula national park which is 9 mi away from the summit. The ride is now only 27 mi long and takes 4 hrs vs the 6+ hrs it use to take. Below are some of the shots from the ride and a pic of Adam and me on our bikes with our motorcycle helmets on. Adam had to wear the yellow safety jersey since he was the last one to go down in our group. There were some amazing views along the way as you can see...

Late this afternoon we did some shopping in two small towns called Paia and Makawao. One of the shops in Paia was called Alice in Hulaland, which made me think of my Aunt Gail who my mom calls ‘Alice in Wonderland’ – don’t ask, long story. Most of the shops were closed but we still found some great things. We saw a hibiscus bush that was growing intertwined with a mango tree...so cool.

Tonight we ate dinner at Mama's Fish House just outside of Paia. It was literally one of the best meals I have ever had in my life. Everyone we have met has just raved about this place so we had to go. They have a wall that has EVERY famous person you could imagine that has eaten there....Frank Sinatra, Jimmy Buffett...even Andruw Jones who use to play for the Braves.  The pics are just Adam and I goofing around (check out my FISH FACE!!!) and fun with this big boat they had outside.