Soccer Mom...literally!

I knew once we had a baby we would have to buy all sorts of new things but never in 10 million years did I think that having a baby would require that we buy a new car...and not just a new car but a car the size of a Sherman tank.  I mean...come on....the baby doesn't even weigh 12 lbs yet but she warrants a car the size of a tank?

Ok...so it's not completely all Maison's fault...it is also her father's fault; her 6' 7" feet tall father's fault.  We didn't realize that given Adam's height a car seat cannot fit behind his chair or in the middle seat so the 7 passenger mid-size Lexus SUV was just reduced to a 2 1/2 seater (2 adults plus a baby).  So how does this happen...

1.  Lexuses are made for Japanese people not tall Americans so the 3rd row of seats is so useless it was removed the first week we bought the car and left in the garage to collect dust.  Let's put it this way...they have been in the car ONE time and I sat in the 3rd row by myself turned sideways.  Yes!  at 5' 3" I'm too tall for the 3rd row 'stadium seating' (i.e. NO LEG ROOM) that was built for Japanese children.

2.  There isn't much distance between the front row and the 2nd row so if Adam is the driver or passenger no on can sit behind him and that includes the car seat.

3.  Issue #2 renders the 2nd row middle seat useless as well.  

Summary, if Adam is in the car then only one other adult and the baby can fit thus only a 2 1/2 passenger car...sigh.

So unless I want Adam to complain indefinitely about being cramped we had to get a new car and get rid of the Lexus...that's right...Adam would rather have his F150 than the Lexus.  Call it supporting American made companies, call it Japanese cars are not made for COS (that would be Customer Of Size per Southwest Airlines).   Whatever you want to call it, my husband would rather drive a big 'ol RED F150 truck than a luxury foreign car....and he says he's NOT turning in to a Texan...hehehehe ;o)

So on NYE we went to Ford (does anyone else sell American cars?) and bought an Expedition.  Yes, the 3 row, 8 passenger, AMERICAN MADE SUV, that only a good Texan would go buy.  And no it's not red but black...what can I say ... despite the Texas heat, all the Ellington kids have a thing for black cars.

That's right, I now have everything required to be a soccer mom:

Child - check

Child that plays soccer - in progress, but I play...that should count, right?

Huge Ass SUV - check

Drives while on cell phone - check

Bad driver in general, really bad driver in HA-SUV, especially while on cell - check

So if you live in the Dallas area and see a black expedition drifting into your lane...being slow to start at a green light...or driving in circles to find a 'left turn' parking spot (aside...I can only park to the left...don't ask!  this was true in all cars I've driven not just the Expedition) then take my advice and stay out of my way as my nerves are probably shot from hearing a crying baby and having 4 hrs sleep and I'm probably texting or searching the web for directions while driving the car and talking on my cell (on bluetooth of course!) to Adam, my mom, or my sister.

God help you if you don't heed my advice because now I'm bigger than you (unless you are in an Excursion or Suburban) and would win if we were to make contact.  OMG....am I that competitive???