Screw you, C.O.P

Dear C.O.P.

I think it is wonderful that you have 400+ miles of bike trails for the use of your residents, but I am a little perplexed why you still call them bike trails. I left my house at 7:30 am this morning, for a nice little ride on your trails and imagine my surprise when the bike trails now have 15 mph speed limit signs and Yield to Pedestrians signs. Excuse me, but if this is a bike trail why would I yield to a pedestrian? Why would I only go 15 mph?

I am not a good biker, only good enough to bike less than 20 miles in a triathlon and 15 mph is just not going to cut it. Good bikers ride at 20+ mph; average bikers at 18 mph. So, Dear C.O.P., I ask you where are bikers welcome? The trails are apparently now for women walking 4 across while on cell phones and/or ipods, for men walking dogs without leashes, and for children under the age of 4 who are seemingly parent-less. Bikers are not welcome on the roads because they slow down traffic, cause accidents, etc. So if the bike trails aren't for bikers, please explain to me what roads/trails are?

I'm all for the safety of our residents, so may I suggest you clear the non-bike trails of the thousands of acorns that were there this morning. As I rode through said acorns, I was pelted with the intensity that could have caused a concussion had I not been wearing a helmet. I may, or may not, have been riding in excess of the posted 15 mph when this happened, but I am so worried about the runners, skaters, bladers, and walkers that could fall and injure themselves causing an even larger obstruction for the 15 mph bikers.

Can you please advise where bikers who bike in excess of 15 mph should go? I would hate for the C.O.P. to hinder my dream of becoming the oldest Olympic Triathlete by not offering a suitable place for me to train. I wouldn't want to be forced to sue the C.O.P. for discriminating against bikers. Wait a minute, is this retaliation against Lance Armstrong for cheating on his wife with Sheryl Crow? Or for dumping Sheryl while she had breast cancer to go make a baby with another woman? I'm on to you, Dear C.O.P...