I'm David Letterman and I'm wearing no pants

Actually, I'm Marcia Maslow and I'm wearing no shorts....

I left this morning through the back door to go on a walk so that I could leave the door unlocked and not have to carry keys with me. Our back door goes out to our patio and you have to leave our yard through the gate.

While I was out walking, it started to come a storm and the wind started picking up. I really didn't think much of it until I got home and could not open our back gate. Our gate has a tricky latch and if the wind blows really hard it will open the gate and slam itself shut only to be unopenable from either side. I tried to push down on the lever - nothing happened. I tried to pull up on the lever and give it a bit of a jiggle...again nothing. I started getting really anxious since I had no key to the front door, no cell phone, and a meeting that I had to be in the office for a 10:00...so I contemplated my options:

1. I could climb the fence and either aim for the concrete pool deck and hope to land on my feet or aim for the 6 ft high oelander bushes and hope for the best.
2. I could go to our neighbor's behind us and ask for some sort of tool to pry the gate open or assistance in opening the gate but since it was about 8:45 I thought they wouldn't be home
3. I could go to the neighbor's down the street to use the phone but I remembered that the woman who is home during the day is virtually disabled and can't really walk to answer the door and anyone I would call was at least 30 min away making my meeting impossible to make.

So I started thinking, the issue wasn't that I couldn't get enough pressure to depress the lever, it was that I couldn't maintain the pressure long enough because the lever was cutting into my hand when I put all my weight on it ....so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.....

I decided to take off my shorts and wrap them around the handle to try to open the gate all the while praying that god would grant me one favor and please, please, please open the gate. Oh, and maybe a second favor...that no one would see me standing in the driveway in my drawers!

My trick worked!  I got the stupid gate open and got into the house with 45 min to shower, eat breakfast, and drive into work.  I ran around like my head was cut off to get ready so quickly and was about to shut down my computer when I noticed my manager had sent a cancellation for the meeting.  Urrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!

I paid for a seat in the sun

Yesterday, Adam and I went to the Rangers home opener.  We've been to either the Rangers or the Cubs home openers for the last 5 years and I have to say this was the worst ever.  The openers are always day games so we at a minimum take the afternoon off.  We had planned on leaving at 11:30 for the 1:00 game so that we could have plenty of time to get to Arlington and be in our seats when George W. threw out the first pitch.  Since neither of us give a squat about the Rangers, I was really looking forward to seeing W more than the game.  

11:30 came and went and I was still trying to save an excel spreadsheet I had worked on all morning for work.  Of course, it was not responding and when I finally convinced my manager to monitor it from the server and save a new copy it was already noon!  Adam drove like crazy and we got to Arlington about 15 min before the game started.  We had agreed we would just valet so that we could make it in by first pitch.  The traffic around the ballpark was horrendous which even though it's a major sporting event the Rangers rarely have much of a crowd so we didn't get the traffic sitch.  We waited patiently to get to the valet and were informed it was full - no sign, no warning, just wait 30 min in line for nada.  

We drove around the entire ballpark and all Ranger parking we were directed to was full, again without warning...only verbal information once you got to the front of the line.  We finally decided to park at Six Flags and walk.  By the time we got to Flags, there was at least 15 cars in front of us...we had to park right by the entrance gates and walk all the way to the ballpark.

By the time we got our tickets from will call, fought the crowd to our seats, removed the people from our seats, and sat down, it was the top of the 3rd.  Uh, the closest I came to George was hearing his commentary over the loud speaker while I was in the bathroom line.  

As if this couldn't get any worse, it was the coldest opening day in Rangers history.  It was in the low 40s with 20 mph winds.  I had plenty of layers but was still pretty happy that our seats were in the sun...at least for the next few innings.  

View from our seats - looks a lot warmer than it was!

Adam went to go fight the lines for some food and while he was gone a slight altercation took place on the row behind us.  We had bleacher seats which are assigned seats but it is not specified how much space each person gets.  This couple shows up and asks everyone on their row to scoot down since they have 2 tickets and there is only space for 1 of them.  This incredibly large mexican guy next to them asks someone towards the end of the row to move down and the man replied, "No, I'm in the seat on my ticket...I paid for a seat in the sun".  I literally almost burst out laughing.  I've been going to Ranger games since I was a little kid and NEVER once heard anyone say they paid to sit in the sun.  If anything, people lie, cheat, and steal a seat from a newborn just to get a seat in the shade.  The large man was not going to let this one go...he said, "you don't have to get upset, I'm just trying to help a brother out and eat my nachos".  They traded snide comments for a good 5 min.  I really restrained myself from providing my 2 cents, not because I feared he would dump his nachos on my head, but because I didn't want to turn around in my seat and possibly touch the freezing metal that my bootie had not already warmed up.

I was so anxious to tell Adam what he missed out on when he returned from his food run since it was the highlight of my day thus far, but he was pouting because the stupid Rangers no longer have Hebrew National all beef hotdogs and replaced them with some hokey Texas BS called Sheriff Blaylocks grilled dogs...uh, really?  I hate hotdogs but enjoy a Hebrew National when it is brought to my seat by a acne ridden teenager carrying a metal box in the 100 degree heat...I don't necessarily think Adam's hotdog crisis trumped my 'sunny seat antics' but I'm just sayin.

By the 5th inning our entire section was in the shade and it was freezing.  Overall, the weather sucked, the game was boring (8-1 Rangers), and I missed the highlight of the entire trip...George!  So the next time I go to a Rangers game and someone says they paid for a seat in the sun, I will reply "well I paid for 80 degree weather, an empty valet line, a hebrew national, and FREAKING GEORGE W BUSH, so pipe down and enjoy your GD nachos!"

This deserves a Cadbury Egg

Adam and I were out running errands and had an unexpected occurrence....

      

Yes!  these are Adam's shorts or what's left of them.  When we left Great Indoors and went to get back into the truck, Adam said, "I think I ripped my shorts".   That was the understatement of the world.  He pretty much tore them in half.  Of course, I found this hysterically funny except when he made me go into the Thumb because he didn't want to go in with his rear end showing.  I felt sorry for him so I bought him a cadbury egg to make up for it...

Adam has a history of demolishing clothing - I don't know what he does but it is never a slight tear, a pulled thread, a fray... but always an out and out, can never wear again, tear.  If anyone knows where to buy 'tough skins' for 6'7" men let me know!

Hot 'lanta, not so hot

Last weekend, Adam and I were scheduled to fly to Atlanta late Friday night.  We packed up all our stuff and I was going to try one last time to get us seats together while Adam made us a quick dinner before we left.  I logged on to AA and there was no available seating chart to view or change seats...uh, why?  So I went to check our flight status which said delayed until 10:40pm and then in big read letters:  FLIGHT CANCELLED....nice.

Adam called AA and apparently our full flight was cancelled due to weather in Dallas and Atlanta and our only option was to take the 7:30am Sat morning.  Considering we were flying home early Monday morning we didn't have much of a choice.  The flight was one of the worst I have ever been on - it was a bumpy puke ride the whole way....

The weather in Atlanta was awful...rainy and very cold.  After a quick lunch at the Varsity we went to visit my g-ma, Annie Boo.  Afterwards, we went to visit my cousin, Michael, at the sports bar he partly owns and to watch the NCAA tournament.  

Sunday we went up to Dahlonega to eat lunch at Smith House.  Dahlonega is the gateway to the Appalachian mountains and was the site of the first US gold rush.   At Smith House you sit at long tables with the guests that came in before or after you.  Once the table is full they serve food family style.  There is no menu, they just serve whatever has been made that day.  On the day we went it was fried chicken, honey baked ham, roast beef, dozen of vegetables, and rolls and white cornbread (no yellow yankee cornbread down there).  It was delicious!

At lunch we sat at the table with a woman that was from Dahlonega.  She said she was 'in law enforcement' and later admitted she had been a bounty hunter and only recently quit so she could spend more time with her two sons who were also at lunch.  After lunch, she told us all about Dahlonega and the gold mine history including all the hauntings.  She was very interesting.  We wanted to go through the shops on the square and see the scottish festival that was in progress but it was way too cold.  

Sunday afternoon we went back to visit Annie Boo.  She seemed much more lucid but still did not want her picture taken.  Despite her protests, we were able to get a few shots.  You can tell from the picture with my mom, that her severe alzheimer's has not stopped her from trying to tell my mom what to do ;oP

      

If it's a holiday, it's a party!

If it's printed on a calendar as a holiday chances are my parents will have a party to celebrate it.  This year for St. Patrick's day my mom decided to have a traditional St. Paddy's day party complete with traditional irish foods - she made:  irish stew, irish soda bread, and potato soup.  She also made 'back up' food for Shari and me:  chicken and mashed pots since we tend to not like anything unless it's is traditionally plain.  And what's a st paddy's party without green and guinness?